Your Initial Consultation – A Mutual Interview

I recently presented to family law practitioners about best practices in the first steps of working with a new client—we call these “intake” procedures—and specifically about the initial consultation with a prospective client. It occurred to me afterward that the public may have no idea what an attorney or LLP is considering during and leading up to that first meeting. At a moment in your life when divorce may be looming, or your post-divorce situation has devolved into something unlivable, the last thing you may be thinking about is, “How do I get an attorney or LLP to take my case?” So, allow me to provide an insider’s perspective on what might be going through the mind of your prospective legal advocate.

Who’s interviewing Who??

Prospective clients often forget that both parties in the meeting—the client and the attorney or LLP—are interviewing each other. Most practitioners worthy of your consideration are not desperate for clients. Advocates with an established reputation and clientele are often quite busy and may be limiting the addition of new cases and clients to their dockets. The initial consultation is an opportunity to assess whether the prospective client and their needs fit within that practitioner’s current schedule and practice style. At the same time, the practitioner is determining whether the two of you will be able to work well together as things heat up.

Expectation Management

During an initial consult, attorneys and LLPs are often paying close attention to what you say your goals and expectations are. Sometimes, a potential client comes in with advice they received from a friend, relative, or the internet about what is fair in divorce and what they should be entitled to. You should not be afraid to share these ideas with your practitioner, but know that it can be both frustrating and difficult for the attorney or LLP to overcome unreasonable expectations. Knowing what you are expecting early helps us answer a critical question: is what this potential client wants even within the realm of reasonable possibilities? There may be a concern that this client would be disappointed in the outcome no matter how hard the practitioner worked for them because they are hoping for a result that is unattainable—or at least unlikely—in Colorado.

One of the ways I address this issue is by providing my feedback on those expectations—even if it is not what the prospect wants to hear—right away at the initial consultation. I want to be sure the working relationship can sustain that level of candor. Was the recipient receptive or offended? Are they inclined to simply find a new practitioner who will tell them what they want to hear? If so, it is best to reveal that incompatibility right away.

Another aspect of expectation management is keeping an eye on whether the client’s desired course of action matches their budget. A prospective client who says they want a parenting evaluation, business valuation, and forensic exploration of hidden funds may not be seeing the dollar signs adding up fast. Inevitably, the next statement is some variation of, “I’d like to keep costs low and not spend all of our money on the divorce itself.” That’s a dead ringer for future disappointment by the client, and frustration and risk on the part of the practitioner.

You’re Giving Red Flag Vibes

Have you already been represented by a reputable attorney or LLP and are seeking new counsel? If so, the attorney or LLP you want to take over your case will be cautious. If a respected peer of that practitioner was not able to meet your expectations, perhaps that is a story that will be repeated.

Are you minimizing the severity of a situation such as domestic violence or substance abuse? Your practitioner needs your complete honesty in order to do their job—especially when it comes to bad facts that we need to get out ahead of. Cagey behavior is a red flag that very few practitioners will overlook.

One final example of a red flag client is the client who believes AI will get them 95% of the way through the case and the practitioner is only there to sign. (See my article about why AI does not have all the answers HERE.) These clients may intend to draft their own documents and letters using AI and expect the practitioner to apply their name and signature at the client’s direction. It is both offensive and risky to the practitioner to simply serve as a document signer. The professional conduct rules of our licensure require that we exercise our own professional judgment while pursuing the client’s goals. That professional judgment comes from years of experience, which is exactly the thing you are paying for. Find a practitioner whom you trust to provide that assistance.

In summary, your relationship with your divorce lawyer or LLP is just that—a relationship. It may even be a long-term one, given the slow speed at which these matters sometimes proceed to trial and resolution. It is critical that there be easy communication, mutual respect, and mutual understanding. Remember that you are both interviewing each other to be sure you can work together to see you through the challenges you are about to face.